Infinite Books

Writers mainly write about themselves, even if their subconscious exhibitionism hides under the cover of fictional characters. Nowadays, candidly describing one’s personal experiences is seen more and more often in literature. Emmanuel Carrere is a writer who writes about himself. As he says, he never lies in his books, writing openly about his searches, fascinations, and suffering, about his friends and the women he loved. In a way, though, he writes about all of us.

“Yoga” was supposed to be a book about yoga that he had been practicing for 30 years, mainly for the benefits of meditation. Observing his breathing and feeling the airflow passing through his nostrils has made him feel calm, as if two or more parts of his personality have come to terms. The word “yoga” comes from the Sanskrit word “to yoke” and means the union of mind and body into a harmonious whole. It was that union that Carrere, like so many others, has been seeking.

The book starts with the plan of the 10-day yoga retreat. Carrere arrives there without a phone, aiming to completely disconnect himself from the outside world. But his plans are abruptly interrupted after just four days with an emergency call to Paris. Soon, it turns out that the greatest threat to Carrere is the writer himself. Diagnosed as a severe bipolar case, he spends the next four months at Sainte-Anne Psychiatric Hospital, where he goes through all possible treatments, including electroconvulsive therapy. Carrere describes his disease without hiding his condition while realizing that his despair intertwines with his search for peace in yoga meditation; it is the yin and yang of his existence.

Then comes the possibility of going to a small Greek island, Leros, where Carrere meets an American historian, Frederica. An older woman dissatisfied with life, she teaches young Afghan refugees English and helps them overcome their trauma. Carrere spends his days in a modest house, talking to Erica and the four teenagers, who are also trying to navigate challenging times, just like him. Yes, a vacation, but mainly he’s searching for harmony and ordinary joy again, for yang to complement yin he experienced.

Similar to another Carrere book I have read, “The Kingdom,” this one is also remarkably personal. He writes about a woman with whom he has an unusual affair, his friends, especially Herve, who was extremely important in another book, and his long-time editor’s passing.

 I read this autobiographical book like a fascinating novel. Once again, Carrere takes up the subject of the human condition. In “The Kingdom,” the seeker is Paul the Apostle. In “Yoga,” Carrere takes over this role and takes us with him on his way to Damascus. And at the end of “Yoga,” there is a promise of coming love and joy –  just like there was a light for Paul at the end of his search.

Yoga by Emmanuel Carrère, published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2022